4 posts tagged “baby sleep”

We have never co-slept with Bubble Toes...not that I'm saying that people who do co-sleep are wrong or anything, and this post is not meant to start any sort of debate about the pro's and con's of co-sleeping. Instead I want to share a phenomenon that both Chris and I experienced during the first few months of Bubble Toes life. 

As I said our baby has never slept in bed with us. However, our cat does. She often resides either between us at chest level or between the knees of one of us. She has been doing this for years and we have become adept at

tossing and turning during the night without worrying about disturbing her. She's a cat, she'll go back to sleep. I offer this information as a possible explanation for what I am about to describe.

So after Bubble Toes was born she slept in a bassinet next to our bed for the first 3 months. This allowed me to check on her multiple times a night without even getting out of bed. I also would do middle of the night nursing right in bed with the lights out. Of course, this meant that I would be close to falling asleep the whole time. But never once did I fall asleep with the baby in my arms. I always stayed awake for her feeding and burping and after putting her back into her bassinet I would then go back to sleep. All without getting out of bed. It was a nice system.

So why then would I wake up in panic thinking that the baby was in bed with us and about to fall off the edge? Almost every night for 3+ months I would wake up at least once during the night panicked that the baby was in our bed and somehow in danger. The fear would only subside after I patted down the bed looking for the baby. I wasn't alone in this. Chris, too, would wake me up (not every night, but often) to ask

where the baby was. For some reason both of us would somehow forget after falling asleep that we had put Bubble Toes back into her bed where she was sleeping contentedly. This even happened after she stopped nursing at night and after she had moved into her crib in her own room, although it hasn't happened for a long time now.

So I ask again, are we weird? Is this something that happens to other people too? Do you think it is caused by sleeping with the cat who is a warm little lump in bed with us, similar to a baby, or some other issue?

So Bubble Toes is asleep, and has been since 3:20 this afternoon and it is now close to 6. Great, you say, what's the problem? Well, the problem is that she hasn't drank her last bottle of the day yet, nor has she had any cereal or her

bath, and her bed time is quickly approaching! I can't go in and just wake her up, so I am taking the passive aggressive route. I emptied the dishwasher very loudly. I messed around with the light cover in the bathroom trying to change the bulb, loudly. Nothing, I finally opened her door and looked in on her, touched her back, still nothing.

What to do. She is obviously very tired, but she will also likely be hungry at some point. I would prefer it if that hunger didn't wake her in the middle of the night. If she wakes up now she will get grouchy very quickly and will need to be fed, but she generally goes to bed right after her last bottle of the day. Quite a dilemma.

I guess I will just wait until she stirs and get her up to eat, bathe and go right back to bed.

Update: At a little after 6 Bubble Toes started to stir a little bit, so I ran in turned on the light and got her up. She was

a little dazed and confused at first, but then started to smile. I just fed her a bowl of cereal and she loved it, she was giggling when she wasn't leaning forward to get the spoon in her mouth faster. She is getting so much better at eating solids.

On a different note she is also really trying to crawl. Every once in a while she gets up on her hands and knees and rocks back and forth for a few seconds. She gets frustrated though and mostly ends up scootching backwards, which is pretty cute.

We've been very lucky. We have a baby that sleeps (at night at least) really well. Of course the first few weeks (really up until about 7 or 8 weeks) things were difficult. Anya would have a hard time falling asleep for those first 2 months and her dad would have to rock her to sleep every night. He became very attuned to the cues of deep sleep and would rock her until he was sure that he would be able to put her in her bassinet without waking her. This allowed me to sleep until she would wake up for her middle of the night feedings. What a nice dad and husband!

By about week 8 she was putting herself to sleep in her bassinet around 10-11 at night and then would wake up for just one feeding before morning. The turning point was when our baby massage instructor was describing infant REM sleep. Unlike adults for whom REM sleep results in body paralysis, infants in REM will twitch, grunt roll, and generally be very active. After hearing this description I began to wonder if I was mistaking REM sleep for hunger and waking up a baby that was asleep. Previously I had been getting Anya up when she started to grunt, twitch and roll thinking that she was hungry and not wanting to wait until she cried. After hearing this I decided to not get her up unless she did actually start to cry and was very obviously awake. At this point we were able to get down to 1 feeding a night.

At week 9 I was hospitalized and while they would have let Anya stay the night with me, we didn't want to disturb her sleep since she was getting into a good pattern. That meant that she went home alone with Dad. I think the first night they both might have been a little bit scared, but they did great! While I was in the hospital Anya started sleeping from 10-11 to 7-8 with no interruptions. She was now sleeping 9 hours straight each night.

This continued until she was about 3 months old. At that point I noticed that she would get really grouchy at around 5 in the evening. So instead of keeping her up until 10, I started to get her ready for bed around 5 and put her down between 6 and 7. Of course, in the begninng there were a couple, but just a couple of nights when she would wake up for a nightime feeding, but by slowly increasing her intake during the day she adjusted to sleeping longer and would sleep straight through. So now she goes to sleep between 6 and 7 and wakes up around 7 and sometime later.

I know I made this sound super easy, but there were some hard parts and there were a few weeks (months, maybe) where she would cry at bedtime and I would have to repeatedly give her her Nuk, but she has settled down lately and mostly falls asleep Nuk-less on her own with minimal fussiness.

Naps are another story. We struggled with naps for a long time and still sometimes do. It was counter-intuitive to me that a baby that just got up after sleeping 12 hours would need to go back to bed after only 1-2 hours of being awake. But, now when I see her rub her eyes, yawn or get overly spaced out I know that she is tired and put her down to nap no matter how long it's been since she was last asleep. That doesn't mean that she likes to nap and although she is rubbing her eyes like crazy as we walk into her room, the second she hits the mattress she gets upset. I usually just let her complain it out until she falls asleep. I do go into get her if the cry changes from whiney to clearly upset. She generally takes about 3 naps a day ranging from 45 mins to up to 2.5 hours.

I hope this can help others, and I hope that I didn't jinx anything by talking about how lucky we've been!

As a first time mother I am far from an expert on babies or baby gear. However, there are a few products that I have either stumbled across by trial and error, or that I found through extensive research that we couldn't live with out.

Things I Love

• Zip on crib sheets. These allow you to change the crib sheet without removing the entire mattress.
• gDiapers.  See earlier post about the wonders of g's.
• Bottom spray. This stuff melts the poop away allowing you to use fewer wipes.
• Baby straight jacket. We call this the kiddopotomus which is actually the brand name, and use the term as a verb too, i.e. "we should kiddopotomize the baby tonight." We have used these off and on since Bubble Toes' birth.
• These socks are the only ones that consistently stay on.
  

  Alligator Lounging
• The Boppy! Just after Bubble Toes was born we bought one of these for every room that she was ever nursed in. We still use these for feedings and it was invaluable for baby napping while I was in the hospital and when we went out of town.
• This monitor allowed for a smooth transition from the baby sleeping in our room in a bassinet to sleeping in her own room. Instead of going into her room everytime she made a noise to check on her I could look at the monitor and see if it was necessary. This was especially useful when Bubble Toes began to roll from her back to her tummy and would then scootch on her face until she was jammed into the corner and needed to be rescued.
  
• I use this diaper bag for everyday outings. It is big enough to hold a blanket, diapers, a change of clothes, wipes, a bottle, bottled water, formula, my wallet, my cell phone, a disposable changing pad, a spare nuk in the pacifier pod, and of course individual packs of kleenex. It's great because it leaves both hands free without slipping down your shoulder.
  
• I keep this changing pad in the trunk of my car. It has pockets for diapers and wipes and is perfect for on the go, in the trunk changings.
• My jogging stroller. I get tons of compliments on this stroller. We use it for everything, and although it takes up a lot of space in my trunk I can still fit all of our groceries from our bi-weekly trips to T.J.'s.
• This stroller shade extender. Most strollers without the infant carrier in them do not have large enough shades. This shade will attach to any stoller and gives full sun coverage. This also gets lots of comments when we are out and about.
  

  Bjorning with Dad
• My baby bjorn active. I originally registered for and received the original baby bjorn, but once I started taking longer hikes with the carrier I decided to up-grade to the active model with lumbar support.
• Cloth diapers for any sort of mess. We have used these as burp cloths, on top of the changing table for any messes, and all around the house for any spills.
  
• A wedge-shaped sleep positioner. This is the one that we used. I'm not sure it's the best, but the basic idea is great. The wedge shape keeps the baby from getting a flat head!
  
• This stroller for when Bubble Toes was still OK with her infant car seat. It took very little room in the trunk and was super easy to fold.
• This stroller for after Bubble Toes decided the infant seat was evil and wouldn't sit in it outside of the car for more than 10 minutes. It also stands upright when folded so you don't have to crouch down to pick it up and it fits in the boot of Dad's MINI.
• This nusing bra which I discovered just before I was hospitalized for mastitis and had to give up breastfeeding. But it did work great for showing my boobs to the millions of doctors and nurses at the emergency room!
  

Things the Baby Loves, So We Love by Extension

• Gah. Gah was the first toy that she really noticed. She loves pulling on his trunk and crunching his ears. She also has the lion (Jan, pronounced yawn) and a hippo, yet to be named.
• Prison Tummy Elephant stuffie, also known as, "Achoo." It's a little disturbing that it looks like the elephant ate a cat and all that is left is a cat head digesting in his prison like stomach, but the baby loves it.
  
• Exersaucing. I did a lot of research and this seemed like the best exersaucer available. It has a bunch of toys that
  

  Exersaucing
  she likes to play with, and stick in her mouth, without becoming overwhelmed. She also gets so excited by the picture of the dog that sometimes I have to turn the pages of the book to give her a break. I think it might be because the dog has its tongue out, and since Bubble Toes also loves sticking her tongue out, she really relates.
  

  Morgie in the baby's onesie
• Her crab rattle. This is definitely her favorite rattle. She loves the round parts on top and tries to stick the whole thing in her mouth.
• This ball. It is easy to grasp and has holes for fingers, tongues, whatever.
• Morgan, our cat. She will now reach out to pet her, which is to say grab her fur and pull with all of her might. Luckily Morgie is very patient albeit not thrilled about the baby. She basically avoids her most of the time.
  

Things Dad Loves

• The elephant outfit.  "It should be obvious why...I mean look at it.  It's an elephant with a peanut tied to its trunk!", says Dad.
  

  What, you got a problem with elephants?

Whew! I'm sure there is more, but this is more than enough for now!